Do Not Expect You From People

Written by Megan Hamilton, September 30, 2020

I have a confession. I have high expectations. Always, but lately it has gotten me into some trouble. With my high expectations I expect more from people. I hold everyone to the same standard as I hold myself and I have learned lately that it is an impossible situation. I was disappointed over and over because people were not meeting my expectations.

But there was a lot I was not taking in consideration. Maybe they cannot handle extra responsibility like I can. Maybe their plate is a lot smaller than mine and I am piling things on it and expecting them to balance it and they cannot. I must stop and take many things into consideration before I raise my expectations of someone else. This does not mean I am making excuses for people, but I am opening myself up to a better understanding of them.

This relates to my job as well. I expect every call to be handled the way I would handle it, but I cannot expect that, and I have learned the hard way not to expect that. Take a suicide call for example. I take care on these calls and talk to the caller as if they were my child and I was talking them through it, some may take a suicide call and be what I perceive as cold. Instead of getting mad that they are not handling it my way I step back and think, why? And sometimes by asking why you can discover things like, they have never dealt with a suicidal call before, or it scares them and they freeze. These are coachable moments. Instead of holding an unreachable standard, drop your guard and get to the root of the issue and find a standard you both are comfortable with meeting.

You cannot expect YOU from everyone else. At the end of the day you are going to hold yourself to a high standard and not everyone is able to meet that. But by taking a step back and realizing the “why”, you can change the outcome and not be disappointed. By putting yourself in someone’s shoes you can see a perspective you had never imagined before. Even if that person still falls short you can have a better understanding of the reason behind it, and at times this makes it easier to address issues. You can address the root of an issue better once you understand where that person is coming from.

This does not mean you make excuses for people, but you understand that you cannot always count on people and people will disappoint you. But you need to come to that understanding after you’ve exhausted your attempts of understanding them.

It’s about balance. Even holding yourself to a standard that is too high can be damaging. If you are always setting unreachable standards you are going to fall short every time. Take a step back and give yourself a break and make manageable expectations not just for others but for yourself as well. At the end of day, no one is you and you can’t expect people to be you because it’s easier than trying to understand them.

As Bruce Lee put it “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations
and you’re not in this world to live up to mine”.

Thank you, Megan for sharing your valuable perspective! If you are interested in writing a blog, please email 911derWomen@gmail.com. Sign up for our newsletter on our homepage to stay up to date with 911der Women programming, exclusive content and blog updates. Click here and scroll to the bottom!