Pushing Through the Pain
Written by Kimberly McCloe, published October 27, 2020
Almost 20 years ago, my Ob/Gyn looked me in the eye and said those words, “Push through the pain”. Of course, at that point, I was in my 18th hour of labor and had been pushing for about an hour. I had peed on the doctor, cussed out every nurse on staff, and written off my then-husband and baby’s father as worthless. My doctor (who, believe it or not, stuck with me to deliver three more babies), had had enough of me and my nonsense and leaned between my stirruped legs, put his face right up to mine and told me, “Kim, every time it starts to hurt the most, you stop pushing. You need to push through the pain.” He was not trying to give me some of the most valuable advice on life I have ever heard, he was just trying to get me to get that kid out so he could go home.
But those words have come back to me time and again. Push through the pain. When I got an eviction notice taped to my front door for the whole neighborhood to see, push through the pain. When I went through a nasty divorce (I am not kidding when I say guns and alcohol were involved), push through the pain. When we thought our third child had a heart murmur, push through the pain. When we moved 1000 miles away leaving my 16 year old son behind to finish high school, push through the pain. When my father-in-law passed away much too early, push through the pain.
Life, as we all know, is far from easy. We have a choice on how we can respond when life hurts. Some of us get crushed or consumed by the pain. We fall victim to addictions or, worse, take our own lives. Some of us bury the hurt, over and over again, until it is a constant dull ache that is slowly eating us alive. But I have decided to follow my doctor’s advice and push through. Experience the pain. Know that it hurts, but that it will come to an end. When I come out the other side, I’m not unscathed. Sometimes I’m even worse for the wear. But I know I have lived my life experiencing everything, good, bad or indifferent. And I’m still here. I haven’t been knocked down yet, and I have a feeling I’ll be around for a bit longer. All because of the words of a tired, aggravated, urine soaked doctor. Thanks, Dr. Gregush. You helped bring my four amazing kids into this world, but you also helped a scared and naïve girl become a stronger, better person.
Thank you, Kimberly for sharing your valuable perspective! If you are interested in writing a blog, please email 911derWomen@gmail.com. Sign up for our newsletter on our homepage to stay up to date with 911der Women programming, exclusive content and blog updates. Click here and scroll to the bottom!