The Calls That Shape Us
Written by Phyllis Leonard, August 2022
Trigger warning: this blog discusses attempting and completing suicide in a very real manner. If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, the suicide hotline is 988.
I have taken many calls in my profession as a 911 dispatcher that shaped not only my career, but my life. I’m not alone, most in this this profession have had at least one or two calls that stand out in our minds for some reason. We’re constantly asked, what was the hardest, strangest, (pick an adjective) call you have ever taken? My answer is always this call…
I was 19 years old and only six months into my career. It was 1989 and 911 was somewhat new to our county; not many people knew that when you called us, we knew where you were. It was also the golden times of land lines and there were no cell phones, so I actually did have an exact location. The young girl started with, “I promised my doctor I would call before I killed myself, so I am letting you know”. She sounded muffled and I would later learn she had a shot gun in her mouth. Several times while I was on the phone with her, she would start counting down and I would stop her. She informed me she was 16 years old, and her aunt and uncle left her alone to go to Disney. She had drunk a bottle of whiskey. SWAT made it on scene, confirmed she had the gun in her mouth. They tried to take over the call by breaking in on the line, but they couldn’t break in. Three hours later that included several countdowns, a gun jamming, and a trip to the bathroom to get sick, the negotiator was able to click in and talked her out within minutes. I took a break to eat the untouched taco salad on my desk and went back to take the barking dog calls.
Fast forward to 2012, I found out that my sister had taken her own life without warning and was found in a hotel room near where she worked. All I could think about was how I talked a complete stranger out of taking their life and my sister never gave me the opportunity to help her.
Now, in the year 2022, they have released a National Suicide Hotline of 9-8-8, who can help people like my sister and a young 16-year-old girl. Thirty-three years into my career, I was given the privilege to be on a board within the county to discuss how we can make 9-8-8 better and how we can make our mental health care better. I shared the story of my suicide call and how I had no training other than to keep them on the line and talk to them. The professionals were amazed at what we as Public Safety Telecommunicators have been doing with little to no training. Suicide has come full circle for me in my career and I can say with certainty that call impacted me in more ways than I will ever truly know.
If someone reading this is having thoughts of suicide or knows someone who needs help. Please reach out to someone or call 9-8-8. There is always help out there and there is always light on the other side of the darkness.
Thank you, Phyliss, for sharing your experience with us. If you are interested in writing a blog, please email 911derWomen@gmail.com. Sign up for our newsletter on our homepage to stay up to date with 911der Women programming, exclusive content and blog updates. Click here and scroll to the bottom.
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